


love you to death

by hojong



Category: Infinite (Band), K-pop
Genre: M/M, i still love u irl howon, im not sure if everything came across well, sorry that howon is an asshole, this was gonna be a myungjong but i couldnt help myself..
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 19:08:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8257126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hojong/pseuds/hojong
Summary: All left in Sungjongs mind was the smell of fried chicken and the fear of cigarette burns.





	

Afterwards, Sungjong was left in a daze. Laying there, feeling limp and used, as usual nothing was said. He heard the rustling through the drawer, Howon was looking for his cigarettes. Hearing the flick of the lighter, he flinched. Howon would take a long drag as he laughed to himself. He rubbed his free hand down Sungjongs spine as he exhaled. "That was nice, right? I was good, right?" Sungjong shivered under his touch. He felt sick. The smell of the cigarette and the feeling of the man he once loveds hand on his back made him sick. 

The day after, Howon would always apologise, down on his knees, crying and begging him not to leave. Sungjong never said anything, he only ever placed his small hand on the others head and ran his fingers through his hair, letting him know everything was forgiven. Howon would sob and Sungjong would hold him as they sat on the couch together. "I'm so sorry..." Howon mumbled in between sobs. "I'll never happen again... I love you so much... Don't leave me. I need you." 

Usually the nights their friends, Myungsoo and Sungyeol, came over were the best. Really, they were Howons friends, but they were the only people Sungjong spoke to other than Howon. Everyone other than Howon would use. They'd drink and laugh and eat and everything would be great.

On those nights, Howon would take him to bed and treat him like a fine piece of china. Being so gentle and loving, the way they once were. He'd kiss him softly and without saying anything he'd be apologising for all the bad things he'd ever done. Sungjong would let him touch his body, he would actually like the feeling of the warm hands on his skin. Somehow, even the hands which hurt him so much made him feel safe. 

"Hey Sungjong," Myungsoo once said, "Are you alright?"

Not so long ago, Howon had left the flat to go grab some take-out. It was just Sungjong, Myungsoo and Sungyeol. Myungsoo had probably waited until now to ask the question. Sungjong was taken aback, he didn't know what to say. Myungsoo looked at him with concerned eyes. 

"I was wondering the same thing." Sungyeol nodded. "It's just... you seem kind of down."

Sungjong looked at the two of them with wide eyes. This was his chance... It was his chance to finally say something... To finally be let out of the hell in which he'd been living in for the past 3 years. 

"We just want to know if you're happy, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to." Myungsoo placed a hand on Sungjongs lap. The boy tensed.

Sungjong began to stutter. "Well..." Just then, the door swung open and there was Howon, his eyes immediately on Myungsoos hand. His eyebrows furrowed. Sungjong quickly pushed the hand away. "I'm fine, really." Sungjong stumbled over his words, giving the biggest smile he could muster.

Myungsoo was shocked at the sudden outburst. He pulled his hand back to his side. He knew the boy was lying but couldn't bring himself to say anything. 

"Sorry guys," Howon looked all dopey, acting the part. Sungjong could see right through him. "I totally forgot. I have a big work meeting tomorrow... I need to get up early. I think you guys will need to go." 

"Aw, but we just got here." Sungyeol whined. "Can't we just stay up with Sungjong?"

"No." Howon barked. Myungsoo and Sungyeol stared at him, Howons face went red with rage. "I mean... Sungjong's been saying he was pretty tired all day anyway, right babe? You want to go to bed? Yeah?" Sungjong nodded. "See, I think you boys should go." 

"Another day, okay?" Myungsoo smiled. They got up to leave and Howon was stood at the door, ready to lock the door. "Oh, my coat." Myungsoo walked back to lift his coat from the sofa. As he did so he smiled at Sungjong. "You're really okay?" 

"Mmm... Like I said. I'm fine..." Sungjong pulled on the sleeves of his jumper. 

Myungsoo nodded. "Okay. I'll go now then." (Please don't go.)

"Bye bye, Sungjong!" Sungyeol grinned as he left. (Take me with you.)

Howon locked the door as soon as the door was closed behind them. In silence, he lit a cigarette. Sungjong felt uneasy. He moved closer to the sofa in which Sungjong sat, taking long draws of the cigarette. He took a seat agonisingly close to the other boy. Sungjong watched the blank TV screen then he felt a burning sensation on his arm. Sungjong cried out in pain, looking down in fear to see Howons cigarette drilling into his arm. "That's nothing compared to the way you hurt me, you stupid brat." Howon roared. 

"What? What did I do?" Sungjong searched his brain, trying to find an answer. 

"You fucking know what. You're fucking Myungsoo aren't you?" Howon threw the cigarette down onto the rug. 

"What, no!" Sungjong stood up abruptly. "I would never do that. I love you!" Sungjong cried, eyes welling with tears. "Why would I do that? How could I do that?" Sungjong was grabbed by the hair and slammed against the wall. He felt as though he could breathe.

"You don't love me! You haven't for years! I can tell, I'm not fucking stupid." Howon paced up and down the living room."Don't lie you fucking slut. I see the way you look at each other. You're both humiliating me! Making fun of me as he fucks you, right? You make me fucking sick." He stopped. Everything was still. Moments later, the TV was on the floor, smashed to bits. Howon grabbed the small, timid boy and threw him to the floor. Sungjong lay there, practically unconscious. "I'll teach you a fucking lesson." Howon slid the jeans down from the motionless boy and did as he felt fit. 

As he fluttered out of consciousness, Sungjongs eyes closed. He focused on the smell of the fried chicken Howon had bought earlier that night. 

That was the last night Sungjong ever saw Myungsoo and Sungyeol. He'd missed his chance.

**Author's Note:**

> i've never been raped or abused, so i know my depiction of it isn't anywhere near to the reality... please


End file.
